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The House and I

The House and I

Votes: 3
Site: The House and I
Project: Loose ends of several near-finished projects
Medium: Blog
About: Humor, wit and a dash of sarcasm are the key ingredients you’ll find in the posts at The House and I. Erin does the honors of relating the (mis)adventures of renovating a 1914 craftsman bungalow. She’ll keep you engaged and entertained 'til the bitter end. Learn about the Puritan Manifesto – Erin’s resolve to do one free, or at least one very inexpensive, house related project, every day for a month. Warning: Reader Discretion Is Advised.

Old House Hazards

With every renovation project there are certain hazards. Here is a sampling of the hazards faced by Erin & Johnny – some imaginary, some exaggerated, all too funny:

Ways Your House Can Kill You

You aren’t looking where you step and you fall through the rotten floorboards. It’s only crawl space underneath, so it’s not the fall that’s gonna kill you, but you break your leg and wind up stuck, and while you lie there, spiders eat your face.

Step on a nail and get tetanus.

Step on another nail and since the first one didn’t give you tetanus, decide there’s no such thing as tetanus, and get tetanus.

The stove explodes but you’re cooking a turkey at the time so you mistake it for one of those mysterious turkey-pops, and then the house burns down.

You blow a fuse with the heat gun stripping paint, and you forget to shut it off when you go down to throw the breaker, and it comes back on while you’re in the basement and lights the scrapings on fire, and then the house burns down.

Your chimney isn’t lined and the stuff that drips from it erodes the mortar, but you’re too stupid not to use the fireplace, so a spark goes through and lights the insulation, and then the house burns down.

The folks you hire to clean your furnace don’t, and it backs up full of gunk. One day it just explodes, and then the house burns down.

You spend an evening drinking in the attic, visiting with all your stuff you haven’t seen since you moved in, and you pass out up there and spiders eat your face.

No Joking Aside

The ‘little glitches’ Erin and Johnny have encountered with their house would have signaled the end for many people. Johnny seems to take everything in stride and Erin copes by telling the tales with her wicked and witty style (and maybe the odd beer). So no joking aside – keep your humor, keep on working and keep on writing, and we’ll keep on reading and keep on laughing (with you of course)!

Just when you think you are
Just when you think you are having the worst day in the world, "i" and the house prove that your bad day is not the only one.

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